Texas Mums

When my son came home and told us he had to have a “Mum” for his date for Homecoming (HOCO) week, tomorrow, our response was:

“What the Hell is a mum? You are getting her a flower in the corsage we’ll make sure it’s a mum. Gosh they are picky about the type of flowers for dances here, aren’t they?”

No, we quickly found out it is not a flower. It may have been a flower at one time but now it has morphed into a major production that takes hours to create and can cost hundreds of dollars.

Actually, its hundreds of dollars for the Californians who don’t know what the hell it is and rush out, last minute, to look for Cedar Park Timberwolves’ decorations at Hobby Lobby only to find that Hobby Lobby is closed on Sundays and we have to go to Michaels or Party City where they only have Westwood or Leander decorations left. Also, using old St. Patrick’s Day decorations, because they are close to Timberwolf green, is a quick way to get your son ridiculed by his date, her friends and the rest of the county. The only other recourse is to get a professional to create your mum, financed at a low APR, because Homecoming is next week and God forbid your wife, uh I mean son, gives his date a mediocre mum.

Anyway, the mum is a Texas only tradition of decorating a “fake flower” as obnoxiously as you can so your child’s date can wear it during homecoming week. Your son will be judged upon by the creativity and sheer weight of said mum and the amount of attention it garners the wearer. It is not uncommon to find mums with support infrastructure attached. Girls are on the hook for mum garters for the boys but the expectations for those are not too high, as you can see in the picture.

The shinier the better and if you can illuminate it and have it make noise, you are at the top of your game. This is an opportunity for moms to “Griswold” an item for their kids. Who says only dads can decorate to the obscene, huh? One rule, however, seniors’ mums are white.

The kicker is, they don’t actually wear the damn thing to the Homecoming dance because it would look stupid with their dress. Yeah, they are afraid it will look stupid

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