We are taking #47 to doctorate school today. Jared is leaving the house and most likely for good. Sure he will stay for holidays and such but his life is out in the world, as it should be, and there is no reason for him to live here any longer. His girlfriend lives the same distance from his school as we do so we know who will win out on those weekend trips and rightfully so, they are in love. We were given a gift, to us his parents, of an extended stay after college while he applied to graduate schools. We were given those extra years to enjoy his wit, his jokes and just the boy, now man, that we know so well.
Last night, as he packed, we took a break and got some Whataburger for dinner and ate it at our table. That oval wooden table we bought twenty years ago, when we first moved here, has been the center of many birthday parties, school projects, easter egg colorings, pumpkin carvings and most of all, daily family dinners. This familiar ritual has been a mainstay in the Lucero home but last night was poignant and we all recognized it. We all savored the jokes, the belly laughs and the love we shared knowing that the seat at the end would now be empty for the dinners to come.
It’s all good right? He is putting his plan into action and is pursuing love, life and happiness, sprinkled with some excellence too. It is what every parent hopes for their children but that does not stop my heart from gaining some weight today.
So I will do as I have always done, put on the brave dad face and make sure the cars are gassed, everything is packed and we get to San Angelo safely. I will hold Kathy as she falls to complete pieces and be that rock men need to be for their family. I will hug and kiss my son goodbye, hand him some cash and tell him how proud I am. But inside, unbeknownst to the world, my heart will be breaking wishing I had one more day with my little boy, one more laugh, and one more dinner at that table.
Goodbye son.